UNDER CONSTRUCTION

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression" Brilliant old chestnut.

"If you have a fight with an idiot, the best outcome you can expect is that you've won a fight with an idiot"

"Always hope for the best and expect the worst. Then you'll always be satisfied with the in-between"

"When was the last time that you did something for the very first time?" Another old chestnut.

"If you're lonely when you're alone then you're probably bad company!"

"Computers are not that smart – they can only give you answers" (Anon)

"I'd much rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate"

"Enjoy the life you have to the full rather than constantly be miserable dreaming about a life you haven't got and probably never will"

"A wasted day is a day less to live. End every day with the satisfaction that you've done something memorable, important or worthwhile"

"If it doesn't strike me immediately, I don't want it, and neither does the public. They won't spend an hour working it out; it's got to hit them" (George Lorimer, Editor of The Saturday Evening Post, to a young Norman Rockwell)

"Better to say nothing and be thought a fool, than to say something and confirm it" (Denis Thatcher)

"Never be good at something you hate doing. Be hopeless at it and you'll never be asked again"

"Strangers are friends you are yet to meet"

A Scotsman's best attempt at foreplay is to cry "brace yourself Margaret!"

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" (Thumper's mum to Thumper in 'Bambi' – and something very 'sayable' towards many an adult)

"If you only ever do what you know you can do you'll never do very much" (Tom Krause)

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" Another old chestnut.

"The critic has to educate the public, the artist has to educate the critic" (Oscar Wilde)

"Every journey begins with a first step" (Anon)

"The grass is always greener on the other side" Another old chestnut.

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" Another old chestnut.

"If, according to Darwin, monkeys evolved into man, why are there still monkeys?"

"War does not determine who is right, but only who is left"

"A bank is a place that will lend you money, but only if you can prove that you don't need it"

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From the 'never to be published' book, THE RAMBLINGS OF AN ORDINARY BLOKE